Monday, March 28, 2011

In my dreams.......

When I was a very young girl.....an eternity ago.......I believed all of the fairy tales, that there were Princes Charming, Heroes in the Seaweed, Happy Ever Afters, All Things Bright and Beautiful.  I believed because I was supposed to believe.  Oh, how shocking when I began to have an inkling that all was not well in Paradise and the promise of  "A Fairy Tale" life was a promise that could not be kept for me.  As I advance in years, I look backward....over my shoulder, as it were...and find the descriptive of my life peppered with words like "shameful", "sordid", "deceitful", "tragic", "wasted", ":loveless", "painful", "unhappy", "bitter", "useless", "empty"....etc.  Is it any wonder that as I approach the shorter half of life, I begin to realize that there are vast areas of issues that will never be resolved and that I shall go to my grave much as the Mayor of Casterbridge, instructing that no bell toll for me and my name be forgotten.  How sad to feel so unworthy.

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