Talking to God

Like most people, I talk to God.  As I have grown older, I seem to do it more and under much less provocation than in my youth.  It used to be that I would get to a place of panic, fear and/or desperation and I would start talking to God right out loud trying to cut a deal.  I suspect I am not the only one.  As time passed and I got more time and experience under my belt, fewer things made me panicked, fearful or desperate.  I was much more capable than I was at twenty, thirty, even forty or fifty.  Now it comes down to moments of trying to ponder the imponderables.  Why God, do you allow anyone to suffer, but most of all the innocents?  Why do you allow the closest thing to your own divinity here on Earth to seek the extermination of others with equal claim to divinity?  Why do you visit the sins of the fathers on the sons?  Why must the punishment for the loss of Paradise be eternal?  Why can we not learn to truly feel and exercise compassion towards all living things without conditions and exceptions?  O God, Creator of the Universe, speed our evolution toward our own divinity that we might be worth loving and saving.  Let us prove that worth not just in words, but in deeds.